He Owns My Heart

Do you love me enough to let me go?

To let me follow through

To let me fall for you
Do you love me enough to let me go?

Enough to Let Me Go- Switchfoot

Standing in the crowd a couple months ago, mere feet away from Jon Foreman, these lyrics pierced my soul.

I didn’t want to let go. I didn’t think I had to let go. Again. Surely it was time to hold on.

But no….in the midst of a rock concert, God whispered to my heart an often heard mantra. Let go.

Every time I hear this song I remember this exact moment. The searing pain in my heart, the piercing breath, a moment of exquisite realization. Despite the pain, I had to let go.

This moment prodded me on to doing what I needed to do. It hurt (when does life not hurt?) but when I look back now, I can see the beauty in it. The grace in that moment. The depth and breadth of a providential moment in the least likely place on earth.

So odd, but so beautiful. I still remember the pain, but I remember it fondly.

I let go. It was what I needed to do.

And by letting go then, I saved myself a whack-job load of more heartbreak that could have occurred a few weeks later.

But that man did not own my heart.

And then I had the privilege of experiencing another wonderful friendship that I hoped would turn into something more beautiful.

Again God whispered….let go.

He didn’t use a beautiful lyric at a rock concert…but I knew.

I look back now, and I remember the pain that I’m not over yet…and it’s beautiful.

Because that man did not own my heart either.

Only God. God owns my heart…and I don’t ever have to let HIM go.

He’s the one holding on to me with His life. That same life that He gave up to hold on to me.

In His arms I rest, until I don’t have to let go anymore.